Third time's a charm

Before I announce it on FB, I am going to practice in the privacy of my blog.

The Trejos are moving....again.....to texas....again.

I have finally gotten the job i wanted--an MA job at Vitalogy Skincare. This chick is UBER excited to finally be able to get my foot in the door. It is fast pace, getting my hands dirty, and high pressure for accuracy. During the interview they kept questioning my ability to handle it, but for real though, I'M GAME:)

Yes, it is true, this is our third round of Texas. The first time was on a whim. The second, destroyed by a bad business and work force. This time, I am going in with a goal. I am the working mom, with a degree behind her and a career. I am going to MAKE THIS WORK!!

The kids are excited to live by their cousins, aunt, uncles, and grandparents. I am too!! I will miss the friends I have made in Indy, and my family in Ohio. But not to worry---our evil plan of relocation has worked so far..it's only a matter of time before we kidnap the rest of the Crawfords from Ohio:)

Until next time,

Sandy

Quite the update!

Holy moly, it has been forever since I've written. I thought that I would just keep coming back and writing, gaining my followers, but life throws curveballs and you just get busy.

Jaeda Bug is now out of preschool and ready for kindergarten!!

She is registered and now anxiously waiting for her first day of big girl school. At least a few times a week she asks me when school is going to start. Telling A 5-year-old "August 16th" means about as much as "what is 35245 + 2375". I love that she is so excited, but I'm not so thrilled about letting her grow up.

Jenelle has done so much growing up. She still loves to sing, but has expanded to mainstream songs rather than just her normal Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Selena Gomez, the Beiber, and Radio Disney songs seem to make her happy these days. She has also become a bit more snoody (or however you spell the word), but it never last that long. I can't believe she is going to be 4 next month.

Ethan. Oh boy... I am trying to hard to get this little boy to grow up in a sense. He is refusing to "learn" to use the toilet. I am fighting the urge to get too upset about it, because he is after all still so little. We are homeschooling the twins for preschool, so I hope he gets it before kindergarten next year. :)

Josh has just started his own LLC. I am so proud he is getting successful in his endeavors. It's been a long time coming.

I graduated from college this May with an Associates of Applied Science. Woohoo:) I am working hard to find my first MA job, but for now Kohl's will work:)

Until next time,

Sandy

The End of Days is coming!!!...or so I read on facebook.

Okay.

I am a Christian woman and I know Christ will be coming back for us sooner than we think. The only problem is that no one knows exactly when it is going to be. I have to admit one of my pet peeves is people saying that it is going to be soon because this and that happened. Now, I really don't want to see people saying that because China had an earthquake that the whole world is going to implode. Did you know the highest earthquake on record was in the early 1900s?? Where was the mass hysteria then? OOooh no, we are at war. The world has been at war for years. Someone always has a problem with one nation or another.

My point here is to wait. I can't stand it when someone tells me that we have only so long left here on this earth. No one knows when it's going to be. Not you, not me, not anyone but the Lord Almighty. So please. Enough with the facebook status that 2012 is upon us. Sure it is. So is 2013, 14, and 15.

Have faith in the Lord, not science and earthquakes.

Until Next Time,

Sandy

Tag..You're It!

Tag...You're It! is a handstamped jewelry business that makes personalized and very unique jewelry. I very much want to order something from there, but i haven't done it yet:) They are having a contest for a $40 gift certificate (that i so desperately want).

Here are the rules!

Mandatory Entry: Follow our blog and tell us who you are!

TWO Extra Entries: Come up with an original "classic" necklace design {keep in mind that the design should not be personalized with a name. For each idea left through a comment, we will give you TWO entries!

ONE Extra Entry: Steal our blog button, put it on your blog, and tell us that you did it.

ONE Extra Entry: "Like" Tag You're It on our facebook fan page and tell us who you are

ONE Extra Entry: Facebook about the giveaway with a link and let us know.

ONE Extra Entry: Blog about the giveaway with a link and let us know.

May the best idea win!!!

Tag...You're It!

Until next time,

Sandy

Decisions, decisions....

I feel like that is all we will ever do. We will have to make more choices, even though everything is fine at this point in time. Preparing for the future isn't all it is cracked up to be. I cannot stand being away from my husband one more day, but I have to keep on keepin on. I want to find a job, but it seems like a lot on my plate. I am only one person, who can be pulled in only so many directions. I hate being looked at as so 'strong' and 'supermom' because I want people to notice that I'm incredibly lonely. I have what I call acquaintances. I talk to people when I go get Jaeda from school, but we basically only swap children. No one calls me just to talk, or asks, hey do you want to go shopping with me? Get a drink? Let's make a playdate! I get none of that.

The only friends I have are 200 miles away. My bestest is 2000 miles away. I try to tell him how I'm scared, I'm sad, and I'm lonely only to get the response that my misery is making him sad. How my complaining is a slap in the face for all he is doing. I'm not allowed to feel, out loud at least. I love my husband and I know he loves me too, but when I have no one to talk to, i can't help but try to make a plan for myself and my children. When is he going to come home? I have no freaking clue. For all I know, he will travel year round. He wants to make money for us, which I understand. This job has given him more money than we have ever made before. Financially, he is there. Physically and emotionally, he is absent. That is why it is so hard.

I never want it to feel like I am taking Josh for granted, because I'm not. I am feeling selfish by wanting my husband back. We would suffer in our relationship if he came back to work a stupid low paying job. I miss him so much, but we are suffering now by being apart. There is never a win. I can never have it both. Why can't we be the well-off family who lives in the awesome house, with awesome jobs, and a set future? Color me green people. Here, I am surrounded by that. It is shoved in my face every day.

Until next time,

Sandy

A change of pace

Current song - Grenade by Bruno Mars

After the scare with my husband, I have been thinking a little differently. When he talked to me I was still half hysterical. I don't know what I would do if this man were taken from me. I need to realize that it is not likely that will happen to me again. I can't keep getting sad/angry/anxious over these things. He is getting a new phone today so the problem should be solved.

I feel awful when I think back on that day back in 2000 and shove it in his face. It was almost 11 years ago and I don't want it to affect my day-to-day. I especially don't want it to make me a basketcase when it comes to my family. But just hearing Josh's voice made my appetite come back, my blood pressure go down, and my love for him grow even more if that possible. I would not survive without him.

He is planning to surprise our daughter by coming home for her birthday:) She doesn't know and I plan on finding a sitter to go pick him up from the airport. I can't wait!! He'll be home for 5 days. Not too long, but when he's been gone so long I'll take anything:)

Jaeda's birthday is coming up next month and we are planning to take her and her little friends to a movie theater birthday party:) I wanted to let them feel like 'big girls' who get to watch a movie together:) i think it will be so cute!! And the tickets are pretty cheap for them, so we can have 7 tickets, 7 snack packs, and the party room for under $100. pretty sweet if you ask me:)

I am blissful today. I love my husband, so so much. I can't wait for him to come home. We are planning getting a new vehicle, eventually moving into a house, just things that make us so happy. We came from living at home to here. I am pretty proud of ourselves:) I love my children. I like that my son grabs me a pepsi from the fridge to come wake me up:) He comes up to me and says, 'Wake up mommy, i got you pop" And he has the cutest smile of any boy:) My daughters love to cuddle with me in my big bed in the morning and I love it. Everything that Josh and I do is for those little faces. I want to give them the perfect life, so they can grow up and feel like they had it made.

Ending song- Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble

Until next time,

Sandy

Eating me alive

Current song- All She Wrote by Default

It is a cruel joke, grief. Fear. The pit of your stomach feeling that incapacitates you. You can't eat, can't sleep, can't think or concentrate. Your mind is running a thousand miles an hour with no end thought. It's pretty messed up.

When I was 15, I was just starting high school. I was young and just living step-by-step. Then I met Josh M. He was friends with my sister and as it turns out, we became friends also. He was 3 years older than me so he was about the graduate from high school. I was a freshman so my crush was very unreal. It was a while before we realized that we liked each other. We began dating the end of my freshman year. It was the perfect beginning to the summer. We could spend the whole thing being with each other and growing as a couple. I know I was only 15, but these kind of feelings can't be replicated....it was amazing.

The day after we celebrated the 'month-aversary', Josh left my house to go mow someones lawn and then go to work. I got a phone call when Josh never made it to work to see if he was still with me. I was concerned because Josh NEVER missed work. the fear was setting it. I brushed it off thinking the worst could never happen to me. A few hours later, one of my friends came to pick me up. When I got to the restaurant where we worked my sister was there to tell me that Josh was killed in a car accident that morning. There was that pit. That grief and fear that no one wants to feel. But it was true. The very first love I really had was gone.

Ever since that awful day, I tend to have anxiety about people keeping tabs with me when they are traveling. It kills me that to this day I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling that it will happen again. Yesterday, my husband didn't call.

Josh normally calls me before he goes to work that day. I would say about noon. I got no call. I tried calling him, but it just went to voicemail. I shook it off. Jaeda went to school so I was occupied. After school, Jaeda wanted to call him so she did---with no answer. This went on for hours. I made dinner and called him again, but it went straight to voicemail. I started getting that fear. I couldn't eat my dinner and I kept trying him again and again and again.

By this time I am starting to panic. It is not 10pm. I am crying. I am so scared that my husband is one of the unidentified casualties in Phoenix that day (yes, I looked them up). I try to watch a movie, calling him every 10 minutes. It is now midnight. I can't cry anymore. My husband never called. I watch the movie to keep my mind on something else. 1 am, no call. I feel like I am going to get sick. 2 am, no call. I am getting ready to call the sheriffs office to look for my husband.

2:3o am. My phone rings.

It's my husband.

His phone broke so it won't work off the charger.

I panicked for no reason. But it's always there. The fear that my husband won't come home. Or that he will be in trouble and I will be too far away to even know about it. I don't know how long this will last, but it's gone on long enough.

Ending song- Scars by Papa Roach

Until next time.

Sandy